This week’s Sandler Sales Training class talked a lot about trust, and how to get a potential client to trust you. When someone reaches out to you (calls you for a quote, asks about your prices, etc.) that is the first expression that their status quo isn’t working—there is something not right in their world and they want a change.

But trust is something we see as developing over time, and you don’t have the time to establish trust with the potential client. Is there a way to reach someone so they feel they can trust you? Yes, it’s in the interest you show them and the relationship you develop with them that will determine if they will trust you.

Telling someone you’re responsible, can get the job done, will bring your talent to bear on their behalf isn’t enough to make a potential client trust you. Everyone says that. You become credible by showing you want to understand them, by showing you want to understand what they need. And the only way to do that is to ask questions that put their needs first.

So we paired up and did a role-playing exercise with a set of questions created to ferret out the problem a person is having. One of us was the questioner, and one of us was the person with a problem. I really learned about myself as the questioner: I tried to solve the problem my partner was having. What I was supposed to do was find out more information about the problem. My natural tendency is to try and help. But that isn’t good strategy, because it denies the person the chance to feel understood.

No on wants to hear you tell them you have had the same experience, or that you have a solution for them. If your potential client is in pain, has a problem that is upsetting their comfort zone, they need to feel understood. That is how you make a connection with them. That begins to establish the trust that will make them want to work with you.

Lesson learned. Can’t wait for our next class.